I think it's been a long time since I've been here and I think it's mostly because I have become a person that I no longer recognize. To write means to self-reflect, but because I no longer know myself, I can't seem to say anything.

I am sad, depressed, and very lonely. My past relationship continues to haunt me. "Why don't you just get over it?" You know, I wish I could. I wish I could just move on. It's not fair to dwell, but when you uproot your life and plant seeds to have a new life with another person, you fail to realize, "Hey, if this doesn't work out... I won't have anything anymore."

And it's true. I don't have anything anymore.


This livejournal has suffered quite a bit. D: That's what I get for losing Photoshop and going to school. @_@

Well, I guess it will continue to suffer, but on the plus side, good to know I'm a living person that goes out and does stuff, right? But it does mean I seem to have lost touch with, well, being online me. I dunno. Seems weird, doesn't it? I guess this means I have to try harder to exist on the Internet or something. XD

  • Current Mood: bouncy bouncy

I'm Alive!

Sort of.

School, work, school, school... Going to fall over soon.

I feel like I've becoming more reclusive by the day. Somehow all I do all day is study and be stressed. Over what? Getting a job even though I have no idea what to look for, chasing dreams, finding dreams to begin with. I dunno. Maybe I'll try and go out some more, but school is so difficult this semester I don't know... It seems like there is no real fun in my life anymore...

*sigh* I need a change...
  • Current Location: Dorm
  • Current Mood: discontent discontent
  • Current Music: Neon Trees - Everybody Talks

School and Things

Loving Arashi's new single "Face Down." It's super addictive. to listen to. On the school front, I'm still working hard. Finals are next week, so I just have to give it my last spurt before I pass out for the summer. XD I've started writing and drawing more. Designing a cosplay costume to be specific. I'm kind of OCD, so I've got 8 pages of detail so far. Possibly more after the measurements...

On a side note, here's some random writing I meant to turn into a short story but have no idea what to do with.


The lights were out, bodies were down and she was alive. Awfully alive. This was bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. She was yelling the word over and over in her head, breathing it, until she was alive with just a word, just a superficial feeling of what was true.
Only then would everything be okay. 
The only way to cope with the detached world was to be detached yourself. Everyone knew that. You reduce your existence to megapixels and megabytes, so insignificant, a tiny speck in cyberspace. Time was indifferent you existence. You didn’t need meaning in black and white. You needed to cope. Cope in the distractions and something true would come along, find you, feed you lies and you’d be okay.
She hadn’t found it yet. The lies-feeder. 

Breathe. Breathe. Mind flow. The blue and purple pills. She took another pair, a colorful pair, like broken blueberries. You need to get away. Ride the high, dump the fear, and get away.

Back up. Rewind. Explode. The smack of soles against the pavement, the cold, escaping to dead sunlight and matted humidity. Night. Open up, run, run, run.
  • Current Location: Laboratory
  • Current Mood: sleepy sleepy
  • Current Music: Arashi - Face Down


I suddenly have that feeling where you miss someone very much, but have no idea how to fix it. :/


School. Work. No play. D:
  • Current Location: Dorm Room~
  • Current Mood: lonely lonely
  • Current Music: Arashi - Yes?No?

Summer Vacation!

 I haven't posted here in forever, lol. 

During the last two weeks, I was suffering finals at school and stuffs. Hopefully I will be able to post on my LJ more. I dunno about making graphics again though. I'm not that good. XD Also I've joined a role-playing site! So I've been making signatures and things like that for everyone~ Maybe I can post them here, but I doubt if anyone wants to see.  



I need to fangirl Arashi some more, they have been unloved for two weeks. D: 

PS: Does anyone know how to get rid of these annoying ads that keep appearing on my LJ? >:I
  • Current Location: Home! <3
  • Current Mood: awake awake
  • Current Music: Arashi - Lotus


 I seriously need to update this journal. >_<

In other news, I GOT POKEMON WHIIIIITTTTTEEEEEEEE!!! And I also brought the 3DS, since Arashi is advertising it and I am in love with my DS anyway.

But school is kicking my butt. ;^;

I need to do those memes elitejean has tagged me in. :< I'll do theeeeeem...

  • Current Location: Dorm
  • Current Mood: sleepy sleepy
  • Current Music: Arashi - To be free


Hey everyone~! Just wanted to say I'm on hiatus and probably will be for a while. As of now I barely get one day of the week off from work and by the time I get home, I rarely can check livejournal. ;^; I will still reply to messages/comments people send me, but graphics-wise, there won't be many updates. X_X Sorry!

I wanted to say that during summertime I would have more time to make graphics for you all, but it doesn't look like it will happen. :< Sorry! I will try to make as much as I can as soon as I can~ Hope you all can forgive me!

By the way, Arashi's Monster PV was AMAZING! :D Loved it, and the making of. XD So cute, especially Ohno's RAWR-ness. :D

Have a great day, everyone!! 
  • Current Location: HOME~! :D
  • Current Mood: rushed rushed
  • Current Music: Arashi - Monster